I spent the whole day with my son. He is, without a doubt the greatest companion anyone could ask for. Anyone who knows him will tell you so, spending time with him is a pure joy. First off he is very funny, but not in an overt way, this is more of a dry observant wit. He has moments of pithiness coated in moments of just pure acceptance. If every you want to know what it is like to be accepted unconditionally you want to hang out with my son. People line up to spend the day with this wonderful boy and today I was the lucky one.
We woke up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to manage a workday at the barn. My son brought his favorite toy (outside of the riding mower), his power washer. It was his job to clean the barn aisle and wash racks while I managed 40 Junior High kids from a large local church. He did not complain once and worked like a Trojan. So did this group of kids and their accompanying parents and ministers. At the end of the morning the barn looked like a shiny new penny.
Standing in the flow of all of that energy is exhausting. It's loud, chaotic, crazy, silly and life affirming. My pink watch ticked on my wrist and I stood in the middle of the churn, maybe the first time without any expectation or agenda. I did not think of the next 5 things on the "to do" list. I just stood. In the barn, with my son, listening to life and I was happy. Not tiny happy, big happy. You shouldn't need cancer to have moments like this.
After the flood of giggling hormones re boarded their bus I looked for my boy. He was soaking wet and grumpy; a warning sign. Only grumpy when hungry, this is my last warning before a total attitudinal meltdown, he is just like his dad that way. Though lunch at McDonald's is not a treat for me, but it is a treat for my son and, after this morning, he deserves his Southern Style Chicken Sandwich Combo with an Orange Drink. I think he ate it in one minute. There were no crumbs, I was amazed he had a wrapper left. When I reached down for my small soda it too was gone. Teenage boys are not to be trusted around food.
Last thing we needed to do was quickly deliver my mare to my trainer. After a fall I had last month, my husband and I decided to send my green horse to a trainer for more work under the saddle. He's right, it's cheaper than a broken hip. I am happy that I made these arrangements before my diagnosis. If I hadn't her training would have been left for later, maybe after my recovery. As it is, she will be ready to help me through my recovery. I will ride through all of it, on my horse who I love, trained by my dear friend who I love.
A beautiful appaloosa mare, bright colored Bay with a frost blanket. She is a delight, but always an appaloosa. Appy owners will know what I am talking about here. They are the image of smart and stubborn. Whey they learn a new behavior it requires time, not because they don't understand (they do), but but because they have to agree. My horse doesn't agree that trailering is something that she should do. I have been feeding her in the trailer for a couple of days so that loading day would go according to plan. When the time comes to load I put her food in the trailer, walked her up and she acts like she had never done this before. No way Jose.
My son and I spent two hours trying everything we knew to get that horse in the trailer and nothing worked. We had to call my friend and trainer to come and help. Eventually, between the three of us we got her loaded, transported, and unloaded. Her mind was blown. What an upsetting thing it is to find yourself transported from your familiar existence, to a place that is unfamiliar. Where you don't know what is going to happen next and who you are going to have to deal with. You don't know if you are going to survive, life is turned upside down and you are petrified with fear.
Be brave my little horse. We will be courageous together.