A year in my life, from the day I was diagnosed and for the full year after. Walk with me.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day 25 Artists, Surgeons and Strangers

Saturday I went to the wedding of someone I did not know.  Of course they knew my husband, but since it was through work I was not aquainted.  A second joining, their wedding party was exclusively the children and stepchildren.  Everyone lit a unity candle and it was lovely, very symbolic.  If the best intentions make for a good outcome they should be OK. 

I hate these things and I love these things; the idealized lovestory part of them makes me feel a little lacking.  I never had a big wedding with a poufy dress and veil, instead I opted for the small intimate wedding with few guests and a great deal of personal meaning.  This was my choice entirely.  Still, when I see the vision of perfection marching down the aisle to her properly dumbstruck-with-wonder groom I feel I might have missed something.  This one of the hazards of the road less travelled.  When faced with a fork in life the one with the most overgrowth and fewest footsteps is usually the one I choose.

Often people I know make me more nervous than people I don't know.  I like having the latitude to speak to people who have few preconceived notions about me and about whom I know nothing.  It's great fun to get to know a stranger for just a little while at a wedding, or a bar, or any kind of affair.  I like the whole confessor scene that plays out: they don't know you, you don't know them and together you exchange all sorts of secrets and information that you might never exchange with someone you actually knew.  Mostly you walk away and never see that person again, passionate intercourse with no ties...naughty.

I met a gifted musician, a pianist who has backed up Elton John and others.  He was fascinating and very OCD.   We spoke about art, music and books.  He is also a Physician's Assistant in surgery, ironically he specializes in the type of surgeries I am about to have.  Without prompting he recommended the reconstructive surgeon I had chosen just that morning to do my new boobies.  He says this surgeon is one of the best in the country and he would choose no other.  I am having these full circle moments more and more often now, they delight and terrify me. 

Before he returned to the piano which he played as a favor to his newly married friends, he asked for my favorite Elton John song so that he could play it for me.  I hesitated to tell him it is Levon, from Madman Across the Water.  We agreed that it is a wonderful, dark, complicated song and NOT wedding material.  He returned to his set, sang Your Song.  He sang it for me: 
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world


Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

What a beautiful post! Loved the whole thing. Very touching and powerful.

zenmama said...

Thank you so much. Your blog is so well written and wonderful, your words mean alot to me.

Darwin said...

YOUR blog is so well written and compassionate and honest and COOL. I love reading your writing. This is something you need to pursue; for real.