I can't sleep at night. I can't nap either. It's been 9 days and I have run out of gas. My mind runs on and on and I can't stop it.
Before my shower I took two Benedryl and I hope that will do the job for me and for my husband. When I don't sleep neither does he. We both look just a little older than we did a week ago. My mind is not clear but my heart is full. I have been surrounded by support and love, so much that I can feel it. My husband cares for and adores me. I am being held up.
My stunt sons came by this evening, excited to tell me that their mother gave them permission to shave their heads in solidarity when I have chemo. They are so thrilled to go bald. I tell them that some people take chemotherapy and keep their hair. They are shaving their heads anyway. It makes me giggle.
I have received emails and Facebook posts that I want to print out and tie up with a ribbon like love letters. When I am through with this I want to look back and remember the goodness of humanity.
Why is it that, late at night, even these blessings can't help me sleep?