A year in my life, from the day I was diagnosed and for the full year after. Walk with me.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Day Nine Benedryl Blessings

I can't sleep at night.  I can't nap either.  It's been 9 days and I have run out of gas.  My mind runs on and on and I can't stop it.

Before my shower I took two Benedryl and I hope that will do the job for me and for my husband.  When I don't sleep neither does he.  We both look just a little older than we did a week ago.  My mind is not clear but my heart is full.  I have been surrounded by support and love, so much that I can feel it.  My husband cares for and adores me.  I am being held up.

My stunt sons came by this evening, excited to tell me that their mother gave them permission to shave their heads in solidarity when I have chemo.  They are so thrilled to go bald.  I tell them that some people take chemotherapy and keep their hair.  They are shaving their heads anyway.  It makes me giggle.

I have received emails and Facebook posts that I want to print out and tie up with a ribbon like love letters.  When I am through with this I want to look back and remember the goodness of humanity. 

Why is it that, late at night, even these blessings can't help me sleep?


Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Country said...

Wow, I just read all your posts from the beginning. I noticed you on Grey Horse's blog. I lost my mother last year to leukemia and a good girlfriend is battling breast cancer, so I said, let me go and see what this chick is blogging about. You write beautifully. Who would ever think that getting whacked in the chest by a horse would turn out to be a good thing?

I will be thinking about you today and I will be coming back to read what's happening and looking forward to all the good news you're going to share.

I should caution you if you decide to go to my blog. I have been writing about how sad I am over losing my mother.

zenmama said...

Your blog is beautiful and it was a great pleasure to read it. I hope my children don't lose me due to this. Still I know that, one day, they will (hopefully due to a strenuous and passionate entanglement with the 25 year old pool boy.) and I hope they feel that affection that is so apparent in your writing. Your mom must have been a wonderful creature.

Christina said...

I tripped over from Greener Pastures. May I suggest Melatonin? Its the only thing that helps me sleep!

zenmama said...

Melatonin is great, it does help me sleep but unfortunately I don't stay asleep. I go to bed at 10:00, wake up at 12:00 and just stay awake after that...I don't like rx drugs but, in this case, a chemist is called for.

Thanks for your comment. I love hearing from you.